New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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