Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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