Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
