A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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