she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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