last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize