My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
