PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
