i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
