I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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