she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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