My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
