i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
