Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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