I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
