I am in a vortex of obligation.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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