I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
