See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
