Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize