just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Someone signed my nipple.
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