Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
