Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
