U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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