we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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