My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Panties = found
Randomize
