I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize