If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
