i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
