I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize