New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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