Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
