conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
