i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
