I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Even the bartender felt bad for me
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just had sex on a roof
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
