i already hear my dad disowning me
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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