I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
