we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
