i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
