you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
