worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Your penis caused this!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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