Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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