What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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