He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
