I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
