just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
