just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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