Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
