Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
