My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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