You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize