found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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