Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
