Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
