It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
