careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
