No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
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