Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
North Korea, Best Korea!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize