just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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