Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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