We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize