i don't plan on having that self control this summer
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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