we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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