Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
