You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
