i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
