but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
handjob tips. give me some.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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