he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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